Dealing with Deidara
by Ankoku21
Summary: Requested by ilovemyboys. Deidara takes a few too many allergy meds and ends up cusing chaos for the Akatsuki. Slightly implication of SasoDei right at the end.


I do not own Naruto or any of the characters, everything is copyrited to Masashi Kishimoto.

This story was requested by ilovemyboys, who asked for a story in which Deidara overdosed on meds, started acting silly and  
Sasori and anyone else had to deal with him. The icing on the cake, as she put it, would be Deidara running into Pein's office while Pein's there.

I had a lot of fun writing this XD

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Deidara groaned, he felt absolutely awful. His throat hurt and his nose was blocked, he wanted to blow up every single flower, tree, or other form of pollen producer in the entire world. Sneezing violently, he cursed every single thing he could think of that could be in any way responsible for his current allergies. He had already taken the two allergy meds that he was allowed but they had had almost no effect whatsoever. Sulkily, he looked at the packet of antihistamine, particularly at the little black writing that stated, quite clearly, "Take no more than two pills per five hours."

'A few more couldn't hurt,' he muttered.

Itachi had been enjoying what, in his opinion, had been quite a relaxing day; he had had no Jinchuriki hunting missions, no Deidara plotting to kill him, and no over-excited Tobi bouncing off the walls like a suger-filled child. He had just been making his way to his room to catch up on some reading, when he heard a rather loud giggling. Normally, he would have simply ignored it, assuming it was Tobi being his usual self. However, this didn't sound like Tobi at all, and it was coming from Deidara's room, a place where Tobi was forbidden from entering when Deidara was ill because the blonde sculptor had a habit of trying to kill the masked man; something that everyone else could fully empathise with, Tobi was annoying at the best of times and was the last person anyone wanted around when they were ill.

Knowing that he would probably end up regretting his actions, Itachi knocked on Deidara's door and, when he recieved no reply but further giggling, pushed it open and entered the bomber's room.

He almost turned around and left when he saw Deidara. The blonde was laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, giggling uncontrollably. His hair was out of it's usual half-ponytail and looked a mess, random bits sticking up all over the place, while his snipe was randomly being held up in the air. Deidara looked around when he saw Itachi, his eyes unfocused, trembling slightly.

Itachi noticed the box of antihistamine that had somehow ended up on the floor and had a prettu good guess what had happened.

'Deidara, how many of these have you had?' he asked, picking up the box.

'How many of what?' Deidara asked, drowsily.

'Your allergy pills,' Itachi said, deciding that using long words like antihistamine would serve only to confuse Deidara even further.

'Two,' Deidara replied. 'No, wait... five, hmn...'

'Any more?' Itachi asked, patiently.

'No,' Deidara said, firmly.

Itachi looked at the instructions on the box and sighed. Trust Deidara to overdose on allergy medication.

'When did you go fuzzy, hmn?' Deidara asked.

'I didn't,' Itachi sighed. 'Stay here, I'll be back in a minute.'

Itachi made his way to the kitchen and filled a glass with water, wondering what he should do. He doubted many of the local hospitals would deal with an Akatsuki member, and he couldn't so much to help Deidara by himself. To his knowledge, there were three other people at headquaters besides himself and Deidara: Pein, Tobi, and Sasori. Out of those three, he doubted Tobi would be of any help at all, and Pein would probably not want to be disturbed in his plots for world domination, so that left only Sasori.

As he set about searching for salt, Itachi weighed up the pros and cons of asking Sasori for help. On the one hand, being crowded when he was in such a disoriented state may freak Deidara out and make him worse, but on the other, if Deidara became too much for Itachi to handle, he would need someone like Sasori on hand to assist.

As if some cosmic force was working - for or against him, Itachi didn't know - Sasori appeared at the door - out of his Hiruko puppet for once - noticed Itachi and raised a questioning eyebrow.

'Itachi-san, what are you doing?' the flame haired man asked, quite calmly.

'Deidara took too many antihistamine,' Itachi explained, finding the salt and tipping quite a large amount into the glass of water. 'I'm going to try and make him throw up.'

'Throw up?' Sasori repeated.

'I need to get the pills out of his system before they absorb further into his body,' Itachi explained. 'People rarely die from antihistamine overdose but, since taking him to hospital is out of the question, I don't want to take any chances.'

'I see.'

His salt water mix finished, Itachi headed back to Deidara's room, Sasori following close behind. Itachi's blood ran cold when he saw that Deidara's bedroom door was wide open and, upon further inspection, said blonde was nowhere around.

Pein sighed and looked at the mound of paperwork sitting on his desk. Unfortunately for him, Konan was out, which meant he was stuck with the job of dealing with all of Amegakure's paperwork. He had a small pile of completed papers on his right side and several towers of uncompleted papers on his left. Running his fingers through his messy hair, he pulled the next sheet from the pile and began to read it.

BAM!

Leaping out of his chair, ready to repel any attack at a moments notice, Pein quickly recognised the intruder. Lowering his guard, he gave Deidara such a glare that, had he not been completely out of it, he would probably have run from the room screaming.

'Deidara, kindly explain why you are here,' Pein said, in a deadly calm voice. 'And why you didn't bother to knock.'

Deidara looked at Pein, clearly unable to focus on him properly.

'Hedgehog.'

'I beg your pardon?' Pein hissed, hoping for Deidara's sake that there was an extremely good explination for this.

'Talking hedgehog, hmn.'

Before Pein had time to react, Deidara's sky coloured eyes had widened and he was leaping over Pein's desk, sending paper flying in all directions, a clay bird in each hand. Pein's own eyes widened in horror as the birds came flying at him.

'Take this, hedgehog! Katsu!'

Just in time, Pein repelled the bombs as far away from himself as possible. The wall furthest from himself ended up with two considerable sized holes in it.

'Deidara! What in heaven's name are you _doing_!?' Pein demanded, grabbing Deidara's wrists before the sculptor had a chance to make more explosives.

'Help! The hedgehog's got me!' Deidara yelled, trying to pull away from Pein's incredibly strong grip.

At that moment, Itachi and Sasori appeared at the doorway, quickly taking in the situation. In a flash, Sasori had extended chakra threats from his fingers, attaching them to Deidar's arms and legs.

'You can let go of him, Leader,' he said. 'I've got him.'

Pein released the sculptor who was quickly dragged backwards off his desk and forced to join the two standing in the doorway.

'Explain,' Pein said, darkly.

'He took too many allergy meds,' Itachi said, getting quite sick of repeating this sentence.'We're dealinmg with it.'

'Not very well,' Pein gestured around his office. 'My wall is in dire need of repairing and my papers, which I spent a lot of time organizing, by the way, are currently strewn about the floor.'

'Sorry, sir,' Itachi said, hastily. 'I'll make up for it later.'

With that Itachi and Sasori ran for it, dragging Deidara behind them. Deidara seemed to think this was some kind of game and was laughing hysterically. Despite both wanting to hit the bomber, Itachi and Sasori managed to keep their tempers in check and forced Deidara into his room and onto his bed.

'Drink this,' Itachi ordered, handing the salt water to Deidara.

'What is it, hmn?' Deidara asked.

'It'll protect you from the hedgehog,' Sasori groaned, knowing that Deidara probably wouldn't drink it if he knew what it really was. 'Just drink it.'

Deidara happily did as he was told and, within seconds, had fled for the bathroom. Sasori an Itachi, both feeling rather exhausted, let out sighs of relief and sank onto Deidara's bed.

'That should take care of that,' Itachi sighed. 'Now we just have to keep him hydrated and in his room ntil he's back to normal.'

'There's still the issue of Leader's office,' Sasori put his head in his hands at the thought of how angry Pein would be with them. 'When Deidara's bette, he's helping to fix that blasted wall.'

'I'll go help Leader with his papers,' Itachi said. 'That should make him slightly less furious with us.'

Itachi got up and left, leaving Sasori alone in the room for about a minute before Deidara came staggering back. Without saying a word, the bomber flopped down onto the bed and put his head on Sasori's lap. Sasori gently ran his fingers through Deidara's hair, making it look slightly less like a tangled bird's nest.

'Danna, will the hedgehog leave me alone, now?' Deidara asked, sleepily.

'Until you're better,' Sasori muttered.

Deidara didn't seem to hear this, having completely zoned out. In a few minutes, he was fast asleep and Sasori couldn't bring himself to remain irritated with the younger ninja.

'Note to self,' he murmured, continuing to dtroke Deidara's blonde locks, 'never leave Deidara alone with his allergy medication.

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God, I had to do a lot of research for this story, such as the symptoms of antihistamine overdose and its treatment XD Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews and constructive crit are welcome, unconstructive crit will be given to Pein to deal with.


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